Writer's Block

...having the hardest time beginning the novel...don't know what to do, where to go, how to begin it.

this may be a function also of some other stressors upon me: the inability to get a decent job, or, it seems, any job, which is not a pleasant situation to face in the middle of a possible recession, and with mortgages and debts and home equity loans, daughter's future, etc. a lot of people do better when they have to write under stress. not yours truly. i enjoy the leisurely pace, creating when i feel like it.

well, i feel like it, but can't do it.

[just got a hug from my little girl...what a sweet voice she has; time to go down and snuggle with her on the couch...it is a wet and rainy day in albany: what else worthwhile is there to do?]

Mid-Month Update

Well, not exactly mid-month, but close enough.

This weekend I am hanging out with Lilybet. Sadly, Lisa had to go to a funeral for her 26-year old first cousin who was killed by a taxi cab in New York City. It is a very sad time for her family. Sometimes I take for granted how often death rears its head, especially with young folk. There are families, like Lisa's, that have not had to deal with such tragedy in a while (decades), which makes it even tougher.

The cutting down on the drinking and the cutting off of the caffeine has been good for me. I still get headaches but am not sure if it is caffeine withdrawal or my glasses. The other night, I splurged and had a pork chop with mashed potatoes and veggies and a 20 oz. pint of beer. I inhaled the pork chop but did not finish the beer.

Also, finished reading "The Idiot," by Dosteovsky. Great novel...reads like an existential Russian soap opera and of course ends in true tragic form. Ordered a copy of collected stories by Ivan Bunin. I've not really read the Russians, for which a lovely friend admonished me, but thanks to her, I've started. "The Idiot" is a good beginning.

Painting is going slowly, but no rush there. Worked a bit on a library setting for a third "redhead" painting. Will try to paint some tomorrow.

Nothing big or metaphysical to write about...just taking a break from a fun horror/comedy to lighten my mood ("Shaun of the Dead"). Back to the movie now!

It's been a long time...

Just noticed that the last time I posted here was more than three weeks ago. Quick update:

* Started teaching Contemporary Business to non-majors on Monday; and Organizational Behavior on Thursdays. Each class has about 23 students, most of whom seem to be in the 18 - 22 year range. Monday's class is a little more rambunctious than Thursday's, but reminding them of ground rules last night seemed to help. It's an interesting class, too, in that one of the students - a freshman - graduated this spring from Walter Panas High School (my alma mater); not many of the old teachers are still there, but I guess a lot of them should be retired by now. Thursday's class might just be a bit more serious in that the class is a prequisite for their business degree. One of the students is also a bartender at Justin's, which i guess had to happen. She and I established some ground rules of our own, regarding our bartender/barfly rapport: no one in the class is to know about the "relationship." Again, a good class.

* Speaking of Justin's and other bars, I have resolved to cut down my time spent there, for financial and other reasons. And I have seriously cut down on my boozing. It's no fun being a writer with the dark Irish soul without the Guinness and Jameson's, but I am making do. In fact, having cut down considerably, I am finding that one or two, or even three over three hours on Saturday tires me out. I rarely ever woke up with a hangover, but I had woken up tired. Not a good way to start the day. So, all good on the booze front. But it was not even the booze that was the issue (I rarely drink a full beer or even a full glass of wine at home), it was the socializing. Ford + Beer + People = a Party!

* Another area of detoxification includes getting rid of the caffeine. It's a tad more expensive to drink decaf than hi-test, but it is a major contributor to my feeling better over time, less cranky, less nervous when dealing with stressful things. I find without the caffeine, I am able to "roll with it" a little better. Melita is my preferred decaf of choice. Only caveat...headaches still persist...is it the decaf or is it the bifocals?

* Relationships:

getting along fine with Lisa, which is very important for Lilybet;

have a made a few new, er, "friends," and those have been very enjoyable to me; I am learning that any new relationship built on the foundation of friendship, even if it transcends that, is a good way to start. One has been going on since late March, I think...one is very new, but intriguing. No details, so I don't jinx myself. No getting ahead of myself. Let's just say I am content and like it that way.

* Lilybet is getting to be a big girl...started first grade, is very very bright. She is also playing soccer on Saturdays. I am very proud of her; SHE is the real love of my life.

* Turning the screenplay into a novel. Quite a process...you have to turn the lines into quotes, get rid of camera directions and fill in with narrative, and then flesh it out. And then go back and edit. It's a slow process.

Think that's about it. Not much else to share at this point in time.

Oils, Cont'd

Since the last posting, I have started a couple of new pieces.

One is of a couple with another guy at a tiki bar and a bartender; the couple is holding hands and are looking over at the guy and the bartender. I am going to call it "The Swingers."




Another is of a dinner preparation I made for a loved one. It is hanging in said loved one's kitchen. I used the original shopping list and included it in the piece.



Another is of hot dogs cooking in wine (yet to be delivered).

Currently I am working on an oil of a partially-clad redhead. Full-frontal...sort of, with guest appearance by cat. I don't know where I am going with it, but books are involved, as are wine and bourbon. No cigar yet.

Oils

The first is called, "Painter at 100 Years."



I don't know what this will be called; it's a work in progress.

New Work in Progress

Last night, while sitting at the local gin mill, I had an idea, using a title that was to be the 4th part of the American Primitive screenplay: I am going to try (emphasize on the word, "try,") to write a stage play. It is going to be called "Pints," and will focus on my existential state since the end of my marriage. Hopefully, I will be honest and scathing about myself and where I've come and where I am going.

In addition to the writing, I have already roughly designed the set (or at least did a schematic on a napkin and described it in the first page) and will flesh it out.

We shall see how it goes...or if I follow through on it. I've already written a screenplay, but somehow this feels like more of a challenge, mostly because I am more limited in how it can be visually presented.

New Paintings

"Adventurers by Fate," based on a quote by Vincent van Gogh, impressionist painter and maker of good vodka




"Recharging," a futuristic nightmare world, where artists' models are artificial life forms.