Saturday, January 10, 2009
Progress on this Cold Day
What better to paint on a cold January day than a tropical scene, with a volcano of course (white space on painting is where it will go). Volcanos are a bit of a motif in these tropical paintings; I have not pulled out my dream analysis to determine what it symbolizes, but I will soon [Update, dormant volcanos are feelings and issues resolved and laid to rest; erupting volcanos represent either an inability to control emotions or unresolved emotional issues. Ha! Why am I not surprised. fprm, 1-10-09, 7:12 p.m.]. For this piece, as yet untitled, I wanted a very minimal representation of my tropical paradise scene. There may be some additional detail, but not the same detail as in the studio pictures or the studies of coffee cups or whiskey glasses.
Saturday
Today it is a cold Saturday in Albany.
And it is chili day: ground beef and kidney beans, simmering in red wine (Bully Hill's Baco Noir), with a new chili powder concoction I put together. It includes chili powder, salt, pepper, lots of cumin, some nutmeg, a bit of cinammon and a tablespoon of 8 o'clock coffee grinds.
Earlier, I made pancakes and dedicated them to a friend of mine, who enjoys pancakes.
And then I started doing a little painting.
Below are some examples of paintings completed and in progress.
The Playwright's Study
Volcano and Orange Moon
and
Redhead in Bed - in progress
What is both fun and frustrating for me with oil, as opposed to acrylic, is that I start something new while waiting for others to dry, and it seems as if I do not finish many. Completion is a good thing, but the process...the creative process is more important.
It is supposed to snow tonight into tomorrow, heavily I guess and up to 10" possibly. It is a good day to stay in and paint...drink a beer and have some chili.
And it is chili day: ground beef and kidney beans, simmering in red wine (Bully Hill's Baco Noir), with a new chili powder concoction I put together. It includes chili powder, salt, pepper, lots of cumin, some nutmeg, a bit of cinammon and a tablespoon of 8 o'clock coffee grinds.
Earlier, I made pancakes and dedicated them to a friend of mine, who enjoys pancakes.
And then I started doing a little painting.
Below are some examples of paintings completed and in progress.
The Playwright's Study
Volcano and Orange Moon
and
Redhead in Bed - in progress
What is both fun and frustrating for me with oil, as opposed to acrylic, is that I start something new while waiting for others to dry, and it seems as if I do not finish many. Completion is a good thing, but the process...the creative process is more important.
It is supposed to snow tonight into tomorrow, heavily I guess and up to 10" possibly. It is a good day to stay in and paint...drink a beer and have some chili.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Bring on 2009
It is fair to say, with very few exceptions, that 2008 was a very bad year.
It may in fact have been one of the worst years of my life, so far.
Job loss, fiscal stress, postponement of separation/divorce because of job loss/fiscal stress, turning 40 (which is not so bad in and of itself), getting bifocals (again, not bad of itself, just icing on the cake), not being able to find a decent job (which reflects on my abilities, or lack thereof). Most of it, of course, seems to be of my own doing...at least I can acknowledge tha, and the changes that need to be made are mine. But still, it felt like one thing on top of another. Enough of 2008.
Not that everything was bleak.
Lilybet is growing and becoming quite a little girl. She is very smart and very bright and quick. We need to work on her temper a bit, but then again, I need to work on mine as well. It's fun to watch her grow and learn and interact with the world. She is the love of my life.
Painting was good, too. I had pieces hang at the Upstate Artists Guild in January, March, June, August and November. Nothing sold, but I am out there. Not bad for a beginner.
And I made a new friend, in mid-March, who has been wonderful with me - affectionate, supportive, philosophical, just an all round beautiful person. People like her are rare in this world. That is not to dismiss or diminish the impact of other new friends or old friends and family, who have been supportive and loving, but I stress this one in particular, because it was the right friend at the right moment in time.
And I am alive, I have my health, I have been painting, writing, reading a lot of good books.
Maybe it was not so bad after all...
But hopefully, 2009 will be a year in which I can turn things around...I will be teaching in January again, and I will be looking for other work. Lilybet will turn 7 (what a great age), and maybe Lisa and I will finally be able to get our paperwork together and move forward. That would be nice...for all three of us.
It may in fact have been one of the worst years of my life, so far.
Job loss, fiscal stress, postponement of separation/divorce because of job loss/fiscal stress, turning 40 (which is not so bad in and of itself), getting bifocals (again, not bad of itself, just icing on the cake), not being able to find a decent job (which reflects on my abilities, or lack thereof). Most of it, of course, seems to be of my own doing...at least I can acknowledge tha, and the changes that need to be made are mine. But still, it felt like one thing on top of another. Enough of 2008.
Not that everything was bleak.
Lilybet is growing and becoming quite a little girl. She is very smart and very bright and quick. We need to work on her temper a bit, but then again, I need to work on mine as well. It's fun to watch her grow and learn and interact with the world. She is the love of my life.
Painting was good, too. I had pieces hang at the Upstate Artists Guild in January, March, June, August and November. Nothing sold, but I am out there. Not bad for a beginner.
And I made a new friend, in mid-March, who has been wonderful with me - affectionate, supportive, philosophical, just an all round beautiful person. People like her are rare in this world. That is not to dismiss or diminish the impact of other new friends or old friends and family, who have been supportive and loving, but I stress this one in particular, because it was the right friend at the right moment in time.
And I am alive, I have my health, I have been painting, writing, reading a lot of good books.
Maybe it was not so bad after all...
But hopefully, 2009 will be a year in which I can turn things around...I will be teaching in January again, and I will be looking for other work. Lilybet will turn 7 (what a great age), and maybe Lisa and I will finally be able to get our paperwork together and move forward. That would be nice...for all three of us.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Future
On Friday, I will have my last piece for the year hanging at the Upstate Artists Guild. The piece is called, "AI (Artificial Inspiration): Recharging." If you are in the Albany area Friday night, check it out..
Unemployment has not been fun and it has been very very stressful. Sometimes, I get chest pains relative to the stress, but at least I know that they are not heart-related and are likely to be connected to acid reflux more than anything else. Of course, I only care because I have a daughter to raise. And to be quite honest, I am philosophically torn in what values I want to teach her, as far as work and money, etc. How about telling her that she should work on what she enjoys doing, what fulfills her, and if it does not make that much money, to learn not to want. It is the wanting that gets us in trouble.
And in terms of beer, and food, and women, books and song, I am as guilty as anyone.
And sometimes, there is the self-pity phase: what in the world did I do so wrong to have my marriage fall apart(well, i am sure that is 75 percent my fault), to lose my job, and to not be able to get back to where I was. Or where did I go wrong on my path...surely something went wrong for me to end up where I am.
I am wondering what the life lesson is...and when will this end...or do I have it in my power to end it myself.
Unemployment has not been fun and it has been very very stressful. Sometimes, I get chest pains relative to the stress, but at least I know that they are not heart-related and are likely to be connected to acid reflux more than anything else. Of course, I only care because I have a daughter to raise. And to be quite honest, I am philosophically torn in what values I want to teach her, as far as work and money, etc. How about telling her that she should work on what she enjoys doing, what fulfills her, and if it does not make that much money, to learn not to want. It is the wanting that gets us in trouble.
And in terms of beer, and food, and women, books and song, I am as guilty as anyone.
And sometimes, there is the self-pity phase: what in the world did I do so wrong to have my marriage fall apart(well, i am sure that is 75 percent my fault), to lose my job, and to not be able to get back to where I was. Or where did I go wrong on my path...surely something went wrong for me to end up where I am.
I am wondering what the life lesson is...and when will this end...or do I have it in my power to end it myself.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Writer's Block
...having the hardest time beginning the novel...don't know what to do, where to go, how to begin it.
this may be a function also of some other stressors upon me: the inability to get a decent job, or, it seems, any job, which is not a pleasant situation to face in the middle of a possible recession, and with mortgages and debts and home equity loans, daughter's future, etc. a lot of people do better when they have to write under stress. not yours truly. i enjoy the leisurely pace, creating when i feel like it.
well, i feel like it, but can't do it.
[just got a hug from my little girl...what a sweet voice she has; time to go down and snuggle with her on the couch...it is a wet and rainy day in albany: what else worthwhile is there to do?]
this may be a function also of some other stressors upon me: the inability to get a decent job, or, it seems, any job, which is not a pleasant situation to face in the middle of a possible recession, and with mortgages and debts and home equity loans, daughter's future, etc. a lot of people do better when they have to write under stress. not yours truly. i enjoy the leisurely pace, creating when i feel like it.
well, i feel like it, but can't do it.
[just got a hug from my little girl...what a sweet voice she has; time to go down and snuggle with her on the couch...it is a wet and rainy day in albany: what else worthwhile is there to do?]
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Mid-Month Update
Well, not exactly mid-month, but close enough.
This weekend I am hanging out with Lilybet. Sadly, Lisa had to go to a funeral for her 26-year old first cousin who was killed by a taxi cab in New York City. It is a very sad time for her family. Sometimes I take for granted how often death rears its head, especially with young folk. There are families, like Lisa's, that have not had to deal with such tragedy in a while (decades), which makes it even tougher.
The cutting down on the drinking and the cutting off of the caffeine has been good for me. I still get headaches but am not sure if it is caffeine withdrawal or my glasses. The other night, I splurged and had a pork chop with mashed potatoes and veggies and a 20 oz. pint of beer. I inhaled the pork chop but did not finish the beer.
Also, finished reading "The Idiot," by Dosteovsky. Great novel...reads like an existential Russian soap opera and of course ends in true tragic form. Ordered a copy of collected stories by Ivan Bunin. I've not really read the Russians, for which a lovely friend admonished me, but thanks to her, I've started. "The Idiot" is a good beginning.
Painting is going slowly, but no rush there. Worked a bit on a library setting for a third "redhead" painting. Will try to paint some tomorrow.
Nothing big or metaphysical to write about...just taking a break from a fun horror/comedy to lighten my mood ("Shaun of the Dead"). Back to the movie now!
This weekend I am hanging out with Lilybet. Sadly, Lisa had to go to a funeral for her 26-year old first cousin who was killed by a taxi cab in New York City. It is a very sad time for her family. Sometimes I take for granted how often death rears its head, especially with young folk. There are families, like Lisa's, that have not had to deal with such tragedy in a while (decades), which makes it even tougher.
The cutting down on the drinking and the cutting off of the caffeine has been good for me. I still get headaches but am not sure if it is caffeine withdrawal or my glasses. The other night, I splurged and had a pork chop with mashed potatoes and veggies and a 20 oz. pint of beer. I inhaled the pork chop but did not finish the beer.
Also, finished reading "The Idiot," by Dosteovsky. Great novel...reads like an existential Russian soap opera and of course ends in true tragic form. Ordered a copy of collected stories by Ivan Bunin. I've not really read the Russians, for which a lovely friend admonished me, but thanks to her, I've started. "The Idiot" is a good beginning.
Painting is going slowly, but no rush there. Worked a bit on a library setting for a third "redhead" painting. Will try to paint some tomorrow.
Nothing big or metaphysical to write about...just taking a break from a fun horror/comedy to lighten my mood ("Shaun of the Dead"). Back to the movie now!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It's been a long time...
Just noticed that the last time I posted here was more than three weeks ago. Quick update:
* Started teaching Contemporary Business to non-majors on Monday; and Organizational Behavior on Thursdays. Each class has about 23 students, most of whom seem to be in the 18 - 22 year range. Monday's class is a little more rambunctious than Thursday's, but reminding them of ground rules last night seemed to help. It's an interesting class, too, in that one of the students - a freshman - graduated this spring from Walter Panas High School (my alma mater); not many of the old teachers are still there, but I guess a lot of them should be retired by now. Thursday's class might just be a bit more serious in that the class is a prequisite for their business degree. One of the students is also a bartender at Justin's, which i guess had to happen. She and I established some ground rules of our own, regarding our bartender/barfly rapport: no one in the class is to know about the "relationship." Again, a good class.
* Speaking of Justin's and other bars, I have resolved to cut down my time spent there, for financial and other reasons. And I have seriously cut down on my boozing. It's no fun being a writer with the dark Irish soul without the Guinness and Jameson's, but I am making do. In fact, having cut down considerably, I am finding that one or two, or even three over three hours on Saturday tires me out. I rarely ever woke up with a hangover, but I had woken up tired. Not a good way to start the day. So, all good on the booze front. But it was not even the booze that was the issue (I rarely drink a full beer or even a full glass of wine at home), it was the socializing. Ford + Beer + People = a Party!
* Another area of detoxification includes getting rid of the caffeine. It's a tad more expensive to drink decaf than hi-test, but it is a major contributor to my feeling better over time, less cranky, less nervous when dealing with stressful things. I find without the caffeine, I am able to "roll with it" a little better. Melita is my preferred decaf of choice. Only caveat...headaches still persist...is it the decaf or is it the bifocals?
* Relationships:
getting along fine with Lisa, which is very important for Lilybet;
have a made a few new, er, "friends," and those have been very enjoyable to me; I am learning that any new relationship built on the foundation of friendship, even if it transcends that, is a good way to start. One has been going on since late March, I think...one is very new, but intriguing. No details, so I don't jinx myself. No getting ahead of myself. Let's just say I am content and like it that way.
* Lilybet is getting to be a big girl...started first grade, is very very bright. She is also playing soccer on Saturdays. I am very proud of her; SHE is the real love of my life.
* Turning the screenplay into a novel. Quite a process...you have to turn the lines into quotes, get rid of camera directions and fill in with narrative, and then flesh it out. And then go back and edit. It's a slow process.
Think that's about it. Not much else to share at this point in time.
* Started teaching Contemporary Business to non-majors on Monday; and Organizational Behavior on Thursdays. Each class has about 23 students, most of whom seem to be in the 18 - 22 year range. Monday's class is a little more rambunctious than Thursday's, but reminding them of ground rules last night seemed to help. It's an interesting class, too, in that one of the students - a freshman - graduated this spring from Walter Panas High School (my alma mater); not many of the old teachers are still there, but I guess a lot of them should be retired by now. Thursday's class might just be a bit more serious in that the class is a prequisite for their business degree. One of the students is also a bartender at Justin's, which i guess had to happen. She and I established some ground rules of our own, regarding our bartender/barfly rapport: no one in the class is to know about the "relationship." Again, a good class.
* Speaking of Justin's and other bars, I have resolved to cut down my time spent there, for financial and other reasons. And I have seriously cut down on my boozing. It's no fun being a writer with the dark Irish soul without the Guinness and Jameson's, but I am making do. In fact, having cut down considerably, I am finding that one or two, or even three over three hours on Saturday tires me out. I rarely ever woke up with a hangover, but I had woken up tired. Not a good way to start the day. So, all good on the booze front. But it was not even the booze that was the issue (I rarely drink a full beer or even a full glass of wine at home), it was the socializing. Ford + Beer + People = a Party!
* Another area of detoxification includes getting rid of the caffeine. It's a tad more expensive to drink decaf than hi-test, but it is a major contributor to my feeling better over time, less cranky, less nervous when dealing with stressful things. I find without the caffeine, I am able to "roll with it" a little better. Melita is my preferred decaf of choice. Only caveat...headaches still persist...is it the decaf or is it the bifocals?
* Relationships:
getting along fine with Lisa, which is very important for Lilybet;
have a made a few new, er, "friends," and those have been very enjoyable to me; I am learning that any new relationship built on the foundation of friendship, even if it transcends that, is a good way to start. One has been going on since late March, I think...one is very new, but intriguing. No details, so I don't jinx myself. No getting ahead of myself. Let's just say I am content and like it that way.
* Lilybet is getting to be a big girl...started first grade, is very very bright. She is also playing soccer on Saturdays. I am very proud of her; SHE is the real love of my life.
* Turning the screenplay into a novel. Quite a process...you have to turn the lines into quotes, get rid of camera directions and fill in with narrative, and then flesh it out. And then go back and edit. It's a slow process.
Think that's about it. Not much else to share at this point in time.
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