Setting the Stage - Euthanasia

Now that all the necessary people have been informed, I can be more public and open about a critical fact in my life. After eight years of a love relationship, three cats, seven years in a house, six years of marriage, nine months of a rough pregnancy and five years of a beautiful daughter who has her mothers brains and looks and my people skills, two surgeries, three llamas, a vascectomy, many art shows and an ill-fated political campaign, my wife and I have decided - mutually and with love - to end our marriage. Divorce! The word is so cold and legalistic. We try to think of it as evolution not devolution. We are lovers no more, but we are friends, and we are the proud parents of a wonderful girl who will grow to be a fantastic woman. I like to think of the process more like the euthanizing of a sick pet, one who is terminal, not healthy, peeing on the floor, blind, too in pain to move. Perhaps that is too cold a euphamism. But it is a fact, and it is a fact that I face with self-hatred, anger, depression, reinfocement of my sense of loss. Two divorces and one death in my household before I am 18, other losses I wish not to discuss, the election, which I tied too much to my own validation...this end of marriage, this euthanizing of the sick pet, is the cherry on top. How do I move forward. How do I continue to engage and risk more loss? I have gotten to the point where I forgive my wife for her part in this...when do I forgive myself?