Sadness

Perhaps my father is right. Perhaps this is a bit of a sad blog. A pathetic attempt by a man to rediscover himself, reconnect with the world after cloistering himself in some two dimensional idea of marriage, ultimately cloistering himself from his own family, from his wife, his friends, and himself.

A few have noted that this blog goes from one extreme to another...from enthusiasm for life to depths of sadness, perhaps even anger.

The activities discussed do occur and are enjoyable; the issues are not forced...they are genuine events and issues which I am engaging to keep moving.

But sometimes I stop, sometimes I pause, and sometimes I think. In this blog, you will get both the excitement of writing a poem and getting good feedback on it; and you will also get quotes from Styron on loss and abandonment, along with linkages to my own situation.

I don't know how else to function.

There is an undercurrent of sadness which runs under everything I do, think, say, feel...it is there, and I cannot shake it. It has been with me for as long as I recall...at least back to my high school years...that's over 20 years.

I can stay active and stay moving and stay positive, and will try to keep the depression to myself...fake it to make it, I guess, but my countenance cannot always be glowy and shiny.

That's just the way it is.