New Writing in Progress

I am trying to put together a piece, titled "Scenes from a Liaison in a Spanish Town," which explores the complexity of bringing an online writing relationship into the more tangible world, as well as other issues.

Below is a sample, from the first part, "A Cafe Scene":

"After years of writing, years of sharing some pretty deep and pretty dark secrets, years of pushing each other’s boundaries in word and image, years of masturbation and cybersex, we had become quite accustomed to each other. But this did not diminish the anxiety over meeting for the first time and the fears that raced through my head: fear of inadequacy, fear of boring you, fear of being too emotional, and fear of being too aloof. Fear of you not showing. You would think that I would be confident because our writing had been so strong and so passionate, and that I would have a little faith in both of us, but there is an unknown quality to a first meeting. What happens in person is not always the same as what happens on the written page or in cyberspace, and there could be a huge gap between those two worlds. I had hoped not, and up to this moment, based on your assurances and my hubris, I had not had these concerns."

And from another section, from part 4, "Room Service":

"And there was that moment of hesitancy, that moment of fear, of paralysis, of dread, of the certainty of rejection, a wall between us – not just of miles but of reality replacing delusion. This was not going to work. It would not happen."

And last, from part 5, "A Flashback":

"I would not put you on a pedestal, and I would not create something that does not exist.

"There was an “us,” my dear, and there would always be an “us,” and we had yet to make love.

"In that moment, my hands on your shoulders, moving closer, I lightly kissed the back of your neck. I pushed the past into the musty attic, where it belongs, and removed myself from all prior relationships and all fuck-ups. I abandoned regret."

When and if it is ever done and cleaned up, I will post the whole piece here.